Today, in the library lab, since all of the computers in the lab reserved for our class were in use, I decided to go get a book from the shelves. That's right an actual physical book with paper pages. It was a very helpful book with very good information. It was titled The Truth About Abuse, by Mark J. Kittleson, Ph.D. There was a ton of very good information and insight. A lot of it was tough to read since it brought me back to memories of personal experiences with my dad and I. I am not going to elaborate any further on those experiences because I prefer not to share those with too many.
This is one fact from the book that I know is definitely true for my dad. Parents who abuse their children often deny that they are abusive. In fact, the other day, after my dad was physically abusive towards me, I heard him talking, after I returned home after trying to flee temporarily, about how he has to be sure I don't go telling people that he hit me. He was telling my mom about how I apparently was the one who hit him, by trying to close my door and avoid conflict.
I found it very accurate when the book said that young children, and my personal addition would be all children under the age of 18, are the most vulnerable and least protected population. I personally find it difficult to find any resolve for my problems at home. If I were to do anything involving legal intervention, that could compromise my little brother's life and his future, and also might prevent me from being able to attend college next year, as I am financially dependant on my dad. Here I go talking in such detail about my own struggles after telling you and telling myself I wouldn't. I guess I have gotten a bit more comfortable and come to accept my situation more through talking about it even if nobody reads this besides my teacher. Thanks anyway. This has helped me a lot withmy self-understanding.
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